Clients: Parents & Families

“I wanted to know specific steps about how I could change the dynamics [between myself and] my child. I got them clearly and directly.”
—University High School (San Francisco) parent

“Charis Denison has an amazing rapport with adolescents. ... One gets the sense there isn't any crisis she hasn't dealt with before. She also has a near-magical quality of realness, an authenticity devoid of contrivance, to which teenagers (and people in general) respond immediately. She is by turns irreverent, challenging, startlingly direct; she brings insight, compassion, and fearlessness to her work. She is that rare educator to whom adolescents want to listen, and with whom they want to be honest.”
—Sam Reed, Urban School of San Francisco alum

Parent Talks | Family Coaching | Slumber Parties | Self-Defense & Assertiveness

Teenagers can be a mystery. Solving that mystery can be overwhelming. You can be doing everything right and things still look wrong. At the same time, you can think everything is great but miss something going wrong.

There are hundreds of books and theories on adolescent behavior and how parents should approach their teens. Numerous resources are available on the internet or through schools. But figuring out what will work best for your family can be too much. This is where we can help.

Many times parents simply want to know what is working and what’s not. They want to know what most kids the same age as their own are doing when they leave the house. They want to know some clear ways to identify “normal” from “red flag” behavior in their child. Some parents we work with are struggling with their children. Others simply want to know how to stay plugged into the world where their children are living.

We are not therapists. We are not school counselors. This is intentional. We are educators and youth advocates who work with adolescents every day, both in and out of the classroom. We talk with teens on a daily basis about the same tough stuff parents are facing with their children at home. We’ve had “that talk” and heard what kids are thinking and doing every day for almost twenty years. It is demanding as a parent to try to do and say everything right. Sometimes parents simply need a reality check. We know kids. We can provide that check.

Talks for Parents

Prajna Consulting makes a number of talks and workshops available to parents. Most often these programs are facilitated by Charis Denison at a school-sponsored parent event. In addition, she meets privately with groups of parents who may be facing similar challenges. Private meetings can take place in a private home or public space. Bookings can be tailored to specific issues that families or their children’s school communities are facing. Parents often book private meetings following one of Prajna’s “Slumber Party” workshops (To find out about this unique approach—read below.).

Talks with parents typically address some of the following topics and include time for questions and discussion:

• What are the current issues our kids are facing?
• Am I insane or am I doing a good job?
• What’s “normal” for my kid’s age? (Examples include, “My fifteen year old son has said five words to me in three days.”)
• What are the current trends in teen behavior regarding drugs and alcohol?
• What drugs are the most dangerous for kids these days?
• What is the most effective way to talk to teens about drug use?
• What are kids’ concerns about sex and sexuality? Are they different for boys and girls?
• What are evolving sexual attitudes and behaviors from 9th to 12th grade?
• What are the biggest dangers around sexual behavior I should be aware of for my child?
• How is adolescent sexuality expressed differently from when we were kids?
• What are some ideas to help us impart our values to our kids?
• How can we overcome our own and our child’s discomfort in discussing sexuality?
• What do most teens want from their parents during this time?
• How do I deal with the fact that I parent my teen differently than his/her friends’ parents (related to sleepovers, drugs and alcohol at parties, or curfew, for example)?
• What can I do to stay sane and still feel like I am being a good parent regarding adolescent behavior?

Family Coaching

In our family coaching relationships, Charis Denison works directly with adolescents and their families. Typically, coaching sessions take place in our clients’ homes and can involve the entire family or the parents or youths alone.

We do not work as therapists in this role. Quite the contrary. We not only listen and ask questions but also have opinions we are willing to share. Our approach is unique in that we compare our client families’ experiences with what we see happening among other teens and families nationally. We offer guidance, encouragement, and practical suggestions to families who are talking about and moving through issues we often deal with in our work in classrooms and adolescent workshops. We know families are the real experts on what is happening to them. We simply add effective support and perspective that is so often needed during the transitional teenage years.

The following list includes several common focus areas we work on with families. We are also available to address other topics that may be specific to a particular family’s interests or needs.

• Communication
• Setting Boundaries
• Creating Shared Values
• Sex & Sexuality
• Drugs & Alcohol

“Not Your Average Slumber Party”

(Or, “The slumber party you always wanted for your kid but were afraid to imagine.”)

Prajna created these private evening programs to empower young girls to defy and challenge the national statistics they face regarding their health and safety related to a variety of issues, including binge drinking, unwanted sex, and teen pregnancy. Our slumber parties inform and educate teen girls between the ages of 15 and 19 while creating a forum in which they can ask questions regarding a variety of challenging issues. Most importantly, they provide space for girls to realize the importance of emotional literacy and to practice asserting themselves around issues they face every day but are rarely talked about. The issues we address include sex education, safe sex guidelines, drugs & alcohol, how to define and communicate personal values, how to educate others about how you want to be treated, and how to defend yourself, if necessary.

Each slumber party workshop is designed specifically to the needs and desires of the participants through a brief consultation. The actual “Slumber Party” involves three to twenty girls and takes place at one of the girls’ homes for 2-3 hours in the evening or on a weekend. Follow up visits are optional. (Learn more about our Slumber Parties.)

Self-Defense & Assertiveness Training
for High School & College Students

Over the years we have been frustrated by many self-defense programs because they focus primarily around “the girl in a dark alley being followed by a stranger” vignettes and notion of being a victim. While understanding those ideas is important, they are only one component of an effective program. Instead, the best self-defense arises from personal awareness of one’s surroundings, advance planning of how to carry oneself, and what to do to prevent becoming a victim in the first place.

Prajna not only provides self-defense and assertiveness workshops for schools, but also works directly with individual middle school, high school, and college students or with small groups of young women. Often, parents wish to provide an opportunity for their daughters to learn and practice ways they might feel more empowered on their own both in their school communities and when they move into the “real world” beyond. Typically, we work with parents to set up one to two sessions with their child. At the same time we welcome our clients to invite their daughter’s friends to join group sessions of 3-10 students.

Prajna’s self-defense workshops are an ideal gift to give to a family whose child is transitioning from middle school to high school or graduating from high school. Both girls and young women leave our workshops with a healthy balance of awareness and confidence rather than fear and anxiety. (Learn more about Self-Defense & Assertiveness Training.)