Issues: Human Development

Acquaintance Rape, Sexual Assault, & Gender Roles

As educators, we are always looking for ways to better prepare our students for the real world and life at college. In our workshops on sexual assault, assertiveness, and gender roles, we focus on skills students need to define and develop in order to take care of themselves when alone and in social settings. Our approach is based on developing awareness rather than fear.

One aspect of self-defense or violence awareness programs that bothers us is that many begin with a young woman or young man in a compromising or dangerous position or even being attacked. We disagree with this approach. We believe it is important to explore and address with our students the many steps that happen before they arrive in those positions. Not that what happens to us is solely our responsibility, but we have a responsibility to “stay awake”—to become more aware of how our society quietly and dangerously enables such scenarios. How is it that we find ourselves in these positions in the first place?

What about the roots of the problem? What prevents us from taking charge of our own lives? What prevents us from keeping our power or being assertive when we are uncomfortable? Why is it so difficult to communicate within gender roles and around issues of sexuality and safety? What can we do to find ways to take care of and honor ourselves? Most importantly, how do we learn to make decisions that do not result in regret? How do we educate others on how we want to be treated?

Both young men and young women can be victimized by unclear personal boundaries and safety. Many times, young men receive confused signals and young women feel intimidated to set clear limits. This comes from years of social messages regarding gender. Yet, both genders have opportunities to move away from the role of being a victim. Students need the opportunity to explore methods of communication and carrying themselves in the real world that allow them to exert power and control over their own decision making—particularly, in uncomfortable situations.

In this workshop, we explore ways to gain understanding and power over what happens to us. As high school juniors and seniors begin thinking about the world outside high school, they need help pulling together the tools that allow them to access their own strengths and make tough decisions on their own. We talk about societal stereotypes and gender socialization that hold us back from taking care of ourselves and communicating with one another. Finally, we discuss and demonstrate ways to carry ourselves and talk to one another that help us move from feeling helpless to feeling aware and powerful.

Feedback from this workshop has been overwhelmingly positive. Many feel it presents a well-balanced picture of each gender’s role in relation to personal safety, as well as how to be informed and aware without living in fear.